06 August, 2009

Now what?

Guys, I'm in that place. That place where I just don't know what to blog about anymore, despite the fact that I do totally want to blog! Really. I love it. It's just that this blog started out as my wedding planning space (it was my own little version of Weddingbee, because, you know, I didn't get accepted onto Weddingbee itself!), and now that the wedding and the endless recaps are over I don't know where to go from there. I even got over featuring photos I liked because I got into photography myself! Does that make a difference? Maybe I should feature them anyway. I do still love them and look at them all the time!

Right now, I'll just tell you some random things about myself, to get the ball rolling. The thing is, I do live quite a boring life, to be honest. No family drama or weird things happening at work!

At the moment I'm addicted to this chocolate:
Cadbury's coconut and cashew milk chocolate. The words "heaven", "perfection" and "I don't ever want to eat any other kind of regular chocolate* again" come to mind.

*obviously I'm not referring to things like Lindt or Cote D'or or any kind of Belgian truffle yumminess, but, you know, chocolate that I can afford to buy and eat daily.

The problem? They seem to have STOPPED MAKING IT. It's a calamity. I have to go into every shop I pass in case they have old slabs still. I could cry. No, really. You have noooo idea how much I love chocolate of any kind, let alone the squares of heaven kind that this flavour is.

At the moment I'm also addicted to Stephen Sondheim. I just play those soundtracks over and over and over. Kind of weird because in many cases I've never seen the shows to which they belong, but hey, that never stopped me being addicted to Wicked.

Speaking of Wicked reminds me. I've always wanted to go to Broadway. It's a desire that's always there, and sometimes it's just "oh, that would be cool", and sometimes it's a full-blown "I would give my first-born child to go to Broadway" obsession. Ok, it's never that bad. But it does make me want to spend every cent I have, and since I barely have any cents, this is what I would call A Bad Thing. I'm just going to lay it out there: I'm getting heartily sick of never having any money. I didn't expect to have any money this year; you don't when you're starting a business and you have to buy expensive equipment for it without seeing any monetary returns, really. I thought I could handle it, and for the most part, I have been. But I had to go to the doctor the other day and buy medication worth R500, and while I was at the mall where the doctor's rooms are, I made the mistake of going window shopping. And it just killed me that I couldn't afford to buy anything, but I'd just had to spend R500 on drugs. And there were all these pretty summer clothes with ribbons round the waist and rouchy lacy bits, and I wanted to cry. I went to look in my cupboard to confirm, and do you know what clothes I've bought this year? A pair of black ballet flats for comfy wedding shooting (R60) and I purple satin blouse, also for wedding shooting (R70). That's IT. I'm still wearing clothes I bought last decade. (Ok, only one or two awesome pieces, but in most cases my clothes are happily three or four years old).

I feel so despondent. I've never made a lot of money (in fact, I've only ever had poorly-paying jobs), but this is really starting to get to me.

Bet you wish I hadn't blogged now :P


  1. I saw your FB status about those chocoloate bars and I meant to ask you if you'd found any. I can relate..given my recent search to find those Flake bars (which, as you may recall, I did end up finding..so I have faith that you can find your's!

    I am with you on the being poor thing..it makes me sad, as well. I keep pushing through though, trying to convince myself that it's only a temporary thing. When you're a famous photographer..imagine the possibilities!

  2. Well you know what they say "Fashion always changes". I can bet that some of the clothes that are in your closet either still in fashion or are even back in fashion! I have never tried that Cadbury bar. Only a few stores seem to carry Cadburys (except the eggs) by me. I guess maybe that's good though, as I can bet I would be addicted to them as well. Sondheim is wonderful. I will sometimes find myself humming a song from Into The Woods even if I haven't listened to the soundtrack in a few months!

  3. I know what you mean. Clothes are not something I've ever spent a lot of money on and my wardrobe is a little boring... sometimes when I see cute seasonal stuff it just kills me that I can't buy it!! You know all those sayings about how happiness is more important than money... well I don't care if I'm rich but I want just a little more money! haha.

    Just think about the money your business will have earned by this time next year, though! :)

  4. I have a decently paying job and I'm about to start looking for a second job in the evenings to get our bills paid off and free up some cash flow. Mr.Me is going back to school in two weeks to finally get his bachelor's degree, and our finances are going to pretty much disintegrate while he tries to balance school and studying and finding a part-time job. It's also going to put a damper on our plans to start a family. :(

    Just have to keep faith that it will be worth it in the end, just as your photography business will be. :)

  5. Jess: I haven't found them, but I didn't go to the shops I was recommended because I hate going to that area. I will, though!

    Aly: Yep on Into the Woods, though I don't find it as catchy as Sweeney (my fave).

    Skye: Luckily I've never spent a lot of money on clothes, so at least I'm not going from Carrie Bradshaw to nothing. But I do like it sometimes. :-) And 110% agree on the money happiness thing. If I had money, I would be ECSTATIC.

    Diopside: I admire you for doing two jobs at once! I am going to have to get a job to go along with the photography biz for now. I hate the thought. Plus I refuse to do retail again.

    We wouldn't be able to start a family now, even if we wanted to. So it's very lucky we don't!


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