14 June, 2008

The Pressure to be Perfect

Is anyone else finding that there is this incredible pressure on brides today to have a "perfect wedding"? One where the flowers are sumptuous, the dress is stunning couture (or at least a 'name' designer, dahling), the favours are thoughtful, the wedding party gifts personal, and every detail is painstakingly thought out, prepared and well-matched. It's like it's just Not Good Enough if the pattern on your shoes doesn't match the ribbons on your pew cones or the feathers on your white doves.

Should we blame Disney...?

I was thinking about this the other day after reading a blog about people not really remembering the details of a wedding. And they don't! Why, then, is there this huge pressure to have every tiny detail special and perfect? If the guests don't really care, who are we doing it for? I mean, I'm starting to worry that there isn't enough crimson in my table settings, what with the tablecloths and napkins being white. Should I make beaded napkin rings? Aaargh! But I don't WANT to make seventy-odd beaded goodies that everyone will just chuck aside and forget about! I'll be clearing them up and, most likely, throwing them away the next day! And yet I feel this compulsion to make them, so that it all looks beautiful in the photos.
So if we're not doing it for the guests... are we doing it to impress a bunch of random strangers on the internet? If we show photos of a less-than-perfect wedding does that make us feel like we failed as a bride? Or are we just trying to compete with the "ideal" that is laid out for us in bridal magazines and celebrity weddings featured in magazines? The "ideal"that very few people can afford, by the way! Is that why so many people go into debt over their wedding? I know I am constantly being told, on all sides, that I've only got one day, so I have to splurge and get what I WANT for it, be it an expensive dress or a diamond tiara or a venue that costs a hundred grand to rent. Why?? I don't use that criteria to buy anything else, ever! If I want something and it's too expensive, I just go, "Oh well!" and put it back on the shelf. But for a wedding, we somehow justify the expense by telling ourselves that "it has to be perfect". Does it really? What do you guys think? Why are we putting ourselves under all this pressure?

1 comment:

  1. Oh it's absolutely the ideal we fight against! And a lotttttttttt of marketing!!
    (btw, i'm starting your log from the beginning hehe!)


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