Venue envy

Great. Now not only do I have dress envy, I have venue envy as well! Could I be any more shallow? And, considering the wedding is well and truly over, any more unable to LET GO?

Hmm. I wonder if I'll ever let go of the wedding stuff.

First off, I have to say that I really loved both my dress and my venue, The Moon & Sixpence. I've watched my wedding video a gazillion times, and my dress looks absolutely lovely, if I do say so myself. It flows, it sparkles, and, most importantly, it makes me look slim. :-) What's not to love? And yet I can't help hankering over something I didn't get the chance to choose. And now it's the same with the venue! I think that's the main problem, actually - it's not that I think I made the wrong choice or that I keep thinking about what might have been...it's that I can't stop myself from being annoyed about what never had the chance to be, because either I didn't know about it, or it was unobtainable in the country.

The venue issue falls into the first category.

When we got engaged in December last year, we knew that we wanted to get married towards the end of this year, in October or November preferably. Having done some sneaky research before the time, I knew that venues get booked up very quickly and very far in advance, and ten or eleven months was not a lot of time. Once I'd communicated this fact to a surprised Mr Ruby Slippers, we realised that we had to book a venue by the middle of January. Why? Because Mr RS's company was sending him to Cape Town then, and he wouldn't be back till early February, which would make it too late. Obviously we weren't going to rush into anything, and book somewhere we didn't like, but with so many beautiful venues listed on the net, I was confident we would easily find something we loved. Which we did. The Moon & Sixpence was beautiful, not too far from our house (around 27kms), had really helpful, organised staff, and (though we didn't know it then) delicious food. The price was frightening, but only in normal money terms - in wedding money it was really reasonable compared to some places. :-)

So we booked it. Then, a few months later, I saw a wedding on Andrea Carlyle's blog that began my trip down the slippery slope of venue envy. The venue was called Helderfontein, and it had actually been on my original list of possibilities; unfortunately, they were closed for the first two weeks of January, so we were never able to go and see it. We didn't want to wait till February and risk losing our tentative booking at the Moon & Sixpence for the only Friday they had in October (all Saturdays were gone, and three of four Fridays in November as well), which just happened to be the day we really wanted, Halloween. We loved M & S, so I gave up Helderfontein and forgot about it. Until I saw these pics:



(The above two are from the venue's website)

I looove the floor to ceiling windows, and the "old mansion covered in ivy" look, and the grounds, and the lake...it's all droolworthy.

So I wished, for a while, that I'd been able to go look at it, find out what it cost, and make an informed choice. Then I managed to convince myself that I was just being silly, and that The Moon & Sixpence was a gorgeous venue that both Mr Slippers and I loved, and that wondering was a waste of time. And we got married there, it went beautifully, and I never had a moment's complaint about the venue. (Except some stupid guy at the front desk showed my mom to the wrong room, so she left all the men's clothes in the wrong room till I told her there was definitely a mistake somewhere! Oops.)

So lately a lot more South African photographers have been starting blogs. Way to catch up with the rest of the world, guys. So I've been enjoying myself trying to find the good ones and follow their blogs, which is how I found this picture on Ryan Graham's blog:
I am in LOVE. This might be the best wedding chapel I have ever seen in my entire life. That open ceiling just makes me want to cry. (well, I assume it's glassed-in, but still, it's transparent!)

Now I just assumed that Ryan Graham was a Cape Town-based photographer because the first wedding I saw on his blog was in Cape Town, and therefore it followed that this venue must be in Cape Town too. Yeah...not so much. Turns out it's called Shepstone Gardens, and it's ten minutes from where I live. For crying out loud! So close, but because it's not listed on websites or in magazines, I had no idea it was even there. Even their website is sorely lacking in info or pictures.

I found another photo of the same chapel in an online magazine called Konfetti. It says this picture is by Shanna Jones, but she doesn't have a blog and there are no more photos of this venue on her website.

That could have been me kissing Mr Ruby slippers in front of those gorgeous windows...sigh.

Some more from Ryan's blog:





And from the venue's website:


Seriously, I can't believe I didn't know about this venue before! It's so incredibly gorgeous. And so convenient for everyone to travel to, unlike The Moon & Sixpence, which is very much on the outskirts of town. Grumble.

I can't believe how bummed out I am by this!

Mini-update on the planning thing

I feel so much better after our meeting at our venue on Sunday! And I wasn't feeling particularly bad before, as you know. But they are just so helpful and organised there. This nice lady called Handri had all our info in a file, and a whole stack of questions for us to fill in. Well, she asked, we answered, she filled in. :-)

She asked lots of things, from stuff I'd thought of, like seating chart plans and table runners (waaaay ahead of you there, Handri!) to stuff I hadn't considered, like whether any disabled guests needed lifts down to the chapel (how sweet of them) and if we wanted sandwiches delivered to my getting-ready room on the morning (it's free, so damn straight!).

We also chatted about the timetable - having never done this before I had no clue how long it takes to do things like the cake cutting, or how long ceremonies usually are, on average, how much time to allocate for the speeches, even WHERE the speeches are supposed to go - between starters and mains? Before starters? Nooo idea - and she happily shifted things up when we told her we needed to be outside to get photos at sunset, and not eating! Sunset photos at our venue result in THIS:

Photo by Tanja Vogt (OUR photographer!)
And from Andrea Carlyle's blog (the second shooter at this wedding)

Yes, so that's why I am In Love with sunset photos, and want to marry them and have their children. Only I've already promised to marry Mr Ruby Slippers, and he's so cute. Decisions...

Anyway, the only annoying thing is that there is now a function on at the venue the night before our wedding, so we can't go in and set up like we'd hoped. Bugger. I really needed that time, because now this basically means that everyone else is going to set up while I'm getting my hair done on The Morning Of, and when I arrive they'll probably have messed it up somehow and I'll have to fix it and screw up my hair. Which doesn't hold a style at the best of times. Aaargh. Also, we'd hoped to do a vague run-through/rehearsal thing that night, and now we can't do that either. We'll have to arrange one at our house before the time.

Stupid people getting married on a Thursday.

But aside from that, I'm very pleased with how things are going. Everything's right on track! Yay! Because I'm getting married NEXT MONTH!

Two months to go, baby!

I think we've hit the home stretch! Today is exactly two months until the Big Day, until we exchange vows, promise to love each other forever and become man and wife. Oh yes, and two months till I get to wear the most beautiful white dress ever, a sparkly tiara, a long flowing veil, and have people tell me all day how beautiful I look! But I'm more excited about the first one. Of course.

I've been thinking over the last few weeks about how much I've accomplished so far. Everyone keeps asking me if I'm nervous, if I'm excited, if I'm ready, and you know what? I'm not nervous, I am excited, and actually, yes, I am pretty much ready. So the reason I'm not freaking out (people have asked me that too) is that if it turned out the wedding was next week we'd be pretty much okay. A wedding, with all the essentials, would totally happen. Yes, there are lots of little things that aren't done, but they could easily be pulled together in a few days or left out entirely, and no one would be any the wiser.

This is what I've got:

1)The Venue (the most important part, right?) - The last payment is due in two weeks, we've set aside the money for it already, and they're very helpful, organised and on track. We have a meeting there later today, actually, to work out more details.

2)The Food - All included in the venue cost, as is the bar.

3) The Dress - Is hanging at this very moment, behind a door at my parents' house, covered in a white sheet. The only downside here is that it still needs to be shortened. I have an appointment on the 2nd of October to do that, but if the wedding was bumped up to next week and they couldn't do it, I'd probably just have to go buy tall shoes :-)

4) Shoes - Ruby Slippers, check.

5)Photographer - Half paid, booked, money set aside for the balance. Now if only she would call me back about that e-shoot.

6)DJ - Deposit paid, booked, met with, etc. We just need to give him a final list of important songs and do-not-plays.

7) Officiant - We've booked and been for pre-marriage lesson thingys.

8)Flowers - Are being organised by the florist sister of a friend of mine. I've met with her and she seems on track. I'm fairly laid-back about the flowers, really - as long as I get the deep, dark red calla lilies for my bouquet the other red flowers can be anything from lilies, tulips or peonies. Ditto I want the bridesmaids to have white lilies, but white tulips or peonies will do if they can't find the right stuff. So it should all be good. She's got lots of leeway.

9)Bridesmaid Dresses - Should be almost complete. Three weeks ago the dresses were mostly put together at their first fitting, so they should be done shortly. She's also doing the matching groomsmen ties and my veil.

10) Hair & Makeup - both booked and organised.

11) Jewellery - Despite my jewellery dilemma, I do HAVE all of it - necklace, earrings, tiara.

12) Table Runners - not even necessary in the essentials list, but they're done and waiting.

13) Lots of other little things like candles, most of the pew cones, table listings, etc, are also done!

14) The Honeymoon - not really part of the wedding, but it's booked and paid for!

15) The Rings - in my drawer.


WHAT I DON'T HAVE (aka the moment of truth):

1) A Cake - This is the biggest item we don't have. Truth is, I'm sick of how much cakes seem to cost. I can't imagine that taking two sponge cakes that in a bakery or home industry shop cost R40 and R30 respectively, and placing one on top of the other, would cause the cost to escalate to R850. Seriously, what are they using to hold the top one on? Gold dust? But we have an appointment next Saturday at a place that's supposed to be more reasonable. I'll keep you posted.

2) Vows. If the wedding was NOW, we could just have the officiant read the generic "for better, for worse" vows, and it would all go on as planned, but we really want to do our own personal vows with something that means something to us. We're also thinking of doing a Chocolate & Wine ritual instead of the unity candle. More on that later if we decide to do it! We also need to choose readings.

3) Favours - Those pesky Oscar chocolates are almost complete, but they still have to be glued together (I did the two sides separately) and allegedly painted gold. This sounds like a mission!

4)Tons of stationery to be printed: The table listings for the hanging placecards (once we know who's coming and decide where to seat them), the placecards for each individual at their place-setting, the pictures of the classic actors for the table names and for the hanging placecards, the menus, the programs (which have to be designed), etc.

5) I don't have a garter or nice underwear. I bought a bra but it's as uncomfortable as all hell, so I might just go bra-less. If the dress is snug enough.

6) I don't know what the groomsmen are wearing. I hope they have black suits. I've done the ties, that's it. Mr RS must organise that.

7) I really want to get white parasols for the girls and myself (such a pretty photo op!) but it's not essential.

8)Ditto sparklers for the first dance, and also so you can do fun stuff like this:

9) Thank you gifts. I'm still working on that!

You see, this is why I'm not flipping out! It's all just little things, none of which really matters in the grand scheme of things. If the menus never get printed, if the parasols never happen, if there are no favours - it doesn't MATTER. There will be a wedding, people we love will be there, and we will become man and wife, and I will cry. And now I'm excited.

I actually do wish it was next week.

The Hunt for the Perfect Venue: A New Hope

So...on with the hunt for the perfect venue! Our epic voyage of discovery (that is, discovering what we DIDN'T like about venues) finally came to its conclusion when we discovered what we DID like. And what we liked was a rustic but elegant charm, sweeping green lawns, cool leafy pathways, a myriad of winding streams and ponds, and a chapel with stained glass windows and candle chandeliers. What we liked was The Moon & Sixpence.

I have to admit I was halfway sold just on the name! I mean, who wouldn't want to get married at a place with such a darling name? But the venue itself did the rest of the selling. As I mentioned before, we wanted a venue that had three things in one place: a chapel, reception hall and beautiful gardens for photos. And The Moon & Sixpence delivers!


The Chapel:

The Reception Hall:

Dont you just LOVE those wrought-iron chairs? They were yet another detail that sold me on the venue, because a pet-hate of mine is those awful white chair covers that so many wedding venues seem to use. No offence to anyone who had them, but I think they look like ugly sad ghosts.

Continuing to The Gardens:

And when you leave, this is the beautiful gate you see. Seriously, I want to steal this gate and take it home with me. It's bigger than my house, but still.

So that's the venue! I think it will make for some absolutely gorgeously fantastically stunning photographs! Which, we all know, is the whole point of my getting married. Don't worry, I'm just being facetious. I know I get to wear The Dress too.

Venues, Venues everywhere...

I have to make a teensy confession: I started venue-hunting before I even got engaged. Not in a crazy "reserve this venue for me every year so that if I ever get engaged I can use it on the day I want" kind of way, but, you know, just getting the lie of the land. Seeing what's out there. Getting informed on options. Oh, and creating a folder full of information in the process, and then burying it deep in my documents so Mr Ruby Slippers-to-be doesn't freak out.

Once we actually GOT engaged (I knew it was coming, it was just a matter of when), I made all nonchalant-like and pretended to start looking for a venue. Luckily Mr Slippers was quite content for me to create a shortlist of places I liked, and help me choose from there. (Read as: Miss Ruby Slippers does the gruntwork while Mr RS plays computer games. Luckily Miss Ruby Slippers really enjoys this sort of work!) So I went into intense search mode. I must have been to every South African wedding planning site there is. Some venues I disregarded immediately because they were going for a bushveld or safari feel, which was so not what we wanted. The bride petting an elephant? Yeah...um, I don't know, it just feels a bit forced. Not to mention I would flip out if my dress got dirty! And elephants are not clean, trust me. So me, in my wedding dress, anywhere NEAR an elephant? I think not.

But I digress.

Other venues asked more for venue hire than we were willing to pay. Others either had crappy websites (I'm a stickler for that kind of thing; seriously, if you can't get your website right, how are you going to get my wedding right?) or the venues themselves just didn't look that nice. We also knew that we wanted to get married near enough to Johannesburg that we could go out to the venue when we needed to organise things.This was after witnessing the mission it was to pull my sister's Drakensberg wedding together from here. She'd never met the florist, seen the bouquets, met the officiant, hair & make-up people, photographer, NOTHING. Unbelievably it all pulled together pretty well, but I vowed that I had to have a closer rein on things than my slapdash sibling!

So getting married near home ended up meaning one thing: The Wedding Mile inMuldersdrift. So named because it has so many venues in such close proximity to one another. It's like Wedding City out there. And it makes for such easy scouting! They even do tours, though we didn't. That seemed a bit...weird.

First up on our list: THE BRIDGE.

I'd been recommended this by a work colleague, and they don't charge venue hire, which was a huge plus in our somewhat skint books. It consists of a reception hall, simple chapel, and lawns which roll down to a river running along the length of the property, and on which the bride is brought on a little raft or barge to meet the wedding party. It's a lovely idea, but the place as a whole didn't blow us away. The river was rather muddy, and the place, while well-kept enough, just didn't seem special. It would be like having our wedding in our grandmother's garden, we felt. No matter!

Onto venue two:AVIANTO

Wow, is all I can say. Avianto is a Tuscan-inspired village (Read:mansion) and it is gorgeous. Picture Monte Casino (those of you in Joburg) without the casino and shops and dodgy gamblers. Again, we were recommended it by a friend who does dancing shows there occasionally. It is on the pricey side, but it's stunning. Perhaps...a little TOO stunning? Mr Slippers and I are not fancy-shmancy people; we don't worry about etiquette and we seldom have people over for an elegant dinner. This place just didn't seem like us. I think I'd have felt underdressed at my own wedding. This is why:

Bring on Venue Three: KLOOFZICHT.

We'd been to a wedding here in 2006, so we knew we weren't likely to choose it for our wedding. It just felt like THEIR venue, not ours. It has the most beautiful scenery, though - our friend got married under a gazebo overlooking a lake surrounded by hills - very calm and beautiful. But we didn't like it enough to want to "repeat" her venue so soon afterwards. So onward and upward!

Venue Four:OAKFIELD FARM.

Sorry, but I've got to say, I wasn't really impressed with them at all. Considering they're the premier wedding venue out that way, and they do all the bridal expos and publish a magazine, I just expected something more...special. Parts of it are very pretty, but most of it I thought was kind of average. I've seen some gorgeous photos online that were taken there, though, but you can do wonders with great photography! In reality it's really rather plain. And can I just say that a pet hate of mine is excessive white fabric draping? They use it everywhere!

Venue Five:TOADBURY HALL

It looks soooo cute and picturesque on the website, so despite the steep venue hire I told Mr Ruby Slippers we should look at it. I was in love with the Olde Englishness of the name. It is very quaint there, and the chapel is lovely. There are rose gardens and a river (or perhaps it's a lake, I forget). But we couldn't find anyone to let us into the main building, and it wasn't quite stunning enough to justify their price, so we left.It just should have been SWEETER, you know what I mean?

We tried to stop into VALVERDE next, but it was closed for the day, so we gave it a miss. But it looks nice on the website, so I've counted it here as venue Six.

Venue Seven:GLENBURN LODGE.

Apparently there are two venues at Glenburn, but we only looked at the one, as there was something happening at the other one and we couldn't gatecrash. It's set in what appears to be a holiday resort, complete with rondawels just like we used to stop over in on our way to the Cape on family holidays. We found this a bit odd! The chapel is roofed but open at the sides, and both it and the hall overlook a wide, fast-flowing river (the same river that runs through half these venues, I presume!).There is a bridge overhung with a weeping willow, which I found quite charming. Think of the pictures! But yet again, we weren't bowled over by the place. It had to speak to us! This was beginning to be harder than finding a husband. Just kidding, that WAS hard. I honestly don't know how I got so lucky to find my perfect match. Oh wait, this isn't the mushy "What I love about Mr Ruby Slippers" post. My bad. Anyway, the end of our venue search was nigh! Bring it on....

Next time!