It's time to take a leap. A leap of hope, a leap of faith, and - hopefully - a leap into a new life. Back at the beginning of January I blogged about my New Year's Goals (Not resolutions; I hate that word). I am proud to announce that I've already accomplished the following:
1. Get a new job.
In part. I've quit my old job, in fact I did it the next time I went into work after I wrote that post. I don't have a new job yet, because...well, you'll see. :-)
2. Take at least a month off before starting alleged new job.
Doing this even as I type! My nice nature and guilty conscience forced me to work till the end of February, despite having quit in early January, because I'd verbally agreed to work for a year when I started there. And my (now ex) boss is a nice man. I didn't want to stay longer, but I felt bad for him, so I did. Yay for Jewish guilt trips.
5. Do a photography course.
I signed up right after I quit my job, and it started last week. It's only once a week, so I have plenty of time off to recover from the hell that is retail, and to practise practise practise! I asked around and read some photography forums, and invested in a Nikon D60 in the end. I luuurve it. It's like a new toy. Seriously, it's giving me excitement that I haven't had since I last got a new My Little Pony. Wow, that's pretty sad. Have I not been excited about owning something new for twenty years?? I don't know. I used to like buying clothes but I got over that right after high school. (Now I don't care what the heck I wear! :-)) But I know I've never really gotten over my childhood. I still wish I could pull out my Fisher-Price airport or pop-up treehouse and play some of those awesome games that my sister, she of the vivid and inventive imagination, dreamt up. Sigh. Those were the days.
Anyway, I'm hoping this will lead me onto the next goal in my list, which is:
6. Be happy within myself.
My parents have given me a lot of good advice over the years. Maybe at the time I didn't know it, but if it's stuck with me, it's probably good. Here are some of them, random and insightful:
* Assume that everyone else on the road is about to do something incredibly stupid and dangerous. Everyone drives like a moron.
True. I assume this all the time, and I've never had an accident (yet) in ten years of driving.
*Be with someone who makes you laugh.
I give you exhibit A, Mr Ruby Slippers. Actually, he's so good that if I can make HIM laugh, I feel really clever.
*When you meet the person you want to marry, you'll just know.
Exhibit A again.
And, the point of this section:
*Do something that makes you happy. You spend too much of your life at work for it to be a job you hate.
I have never had a job I liked. Which could explain why I'm so often depressed and lethargic and listless and plain miserable. So I've left my job. And right now, guess what's grabbing my interest and making me happy? PHOTOGRAPHY. It may not be a job with prospects. Heck, it may not be a job for me. I might not be good enough. I might decide I don't like it after all. I might discover that clients are worse than bookshop customers (if that's true, I'll never have any faith in humanity again). But all that is a "what if" scenario. And I'll never know "what if" if I don't jolly well DO IT.
So, I'm doing it. I'm hoping that once I've finished my course I'll be able to start out in a small way, second-shooting for people, maybe interning for someone, helping out with editing, that sort of thing. I do have some leads but I don't want to talk about it until it's set in stone. Not that I believe in jinxing, but I just don't want to, in case. :-)
It's a big void I'm leaping into, but I have got some money saved up, and I think it's worth using on something that could be the biggest adventure of my life, that could end up with me Doing Something I Love. That's what's really important to me right now.
"It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap..."
12 hours ago